I have heard the following clichés during my years with chronic illnesses:
You attracted this for a reason. Think positive. Think happy thoughts. God never gives you more than you can handle. When one door closes another one opens. Your pain can be a blessing if you look at it from the right perspective.
You probably have a lot of your own choice words you want to say when you hear those platitudes. I know I can feel like growling.
The best one was “You attracted Trigeminal Neuralgia for your soul’s lessons.”
This was said by someone who loved me. They were ready to for me to get back to my old self and didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting better. Sometimes I seemed to be worse.
These clichés are damaging to one’s psyche especially when you feel blamed for your illness. The fixes are always so quick. “If man will think only thoughts of perfect health, he can cause within himself the functioning of perfect health…” (Wallace Wattles). If that were true, the world would be full of miraculous healings.
Do you feel better or worse?
Do you feel better or worse when you receive this loving or unsolicited advice? You are already having flares, aches and pains while figuring out how to partner, parent, work and volunteer. Now this is somehow your fault? Your choice?
Notice how you are holding their words. Are you taking them in as authentic and true for you? You know don’t you that all the positive words and behaviors do not cure an incurable and permanent disease?
Do you still have your disease after you have stayed positive every second and done all kinds of energy work and treatments to clear your soul?
Is it body and life enhancing to be told you caused it?
Enjoy this article. May it bring you comfort .The Truth About the Law of Attraction- It doesn’t exist! Psychology Today by Neil Farber.
AND watch your words and your thoughts. Journal what you have said and felt. Many studies confirm that you physically feel worse when you speak about yourself negatively to others. Your true friends want to know how you are really doing. You can avoid negativity by stating the facts about what is happening in your body and include the upbeat things you are also thinking or doing.
Do not accept what others say about you even if it is well meaning. Use this opportunity to educate others on what not to say. You might even want to have this article ready to hand out to others. 13 Things to Never Say to People Who Suffer From Chronic Pain by Kat Gal.
May you feel at peace today no matter what words you hear.
Gail Sinclair, MHt, CNC is a hypnotherapist who helps those living with chronic pain go from discomfort to thriving by using hypnosis, pain management tools and resources.
She is a Master Hypnotherapist, Nutritional Consultant, and a Reiki Master Teacher. She has over 20 years in healing work and is an international award-winning speaker.
Gail lives in Portland, OR with her delightful husband, son, and cat. She can be found cooking, knitting, writing, and figuring out new ways to thrive with Trigeminal, and Occipital Neuralgia.
You can reach her firstname.lastname@example.org.