Comparison and Chronic Pain

“How is your body these days?” I asked a good friend.

“I know it’s nothing compared to what you’re going through, but,” she said.

My Pain is Nothing Compared to Yours

Argggghhhhhh. I am so sick of hearing “it’s nothing compared to your pain” when all I want to know is how a loved one is truly doing.

I get frustrated when I know they are withholding because they think their pain is nothing when equated to mine. Stop comparing! Pain is pain. And you get to have yours.

I would tell all of the deep relationships in my life that my pain does not stand in the way of who we are. Our relationships. Stop tiptoeing around who you are. It stands in the way of our deep intimacy.

Come back to who we were and we will navigate this permanent and incurable disease of mine.

I Miss All of You

I miss you and the wholeness of you. I miss your stories. Your aches and pains. I want to hear all about you without your withholding. This causes an ache in my heart that some of what we had is lost.

How will we get back to that? Stop thinking that because I have some flares that you are not allowed yours. When you stop that behavior, we can return to us.

And besides, do you know how boring it is to only talk about me?

May this help you navigate your way to more profound sustainable relationships.


Gail Sinclair, MHt, CNC is a hypnotherapist who helps those living with chronic pain go from discomfort to thriving by using hypnosis, pain management tools and resources.

She is a Master Hypnotherapist, Nutritional Consultant, and a Reiki Master Teacher. She has over 20 years in healing work and is an international award-winning speaker.

Gail lives in Portland, OR with her delightful husband, son, and cat. She can be found cooking, knitting, writing, and figuring out new ways to thrive with Trigeminal, and Occipital Neuralgia.

You can reach her at or at

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